Childhood Marks

Honor your mother and father,
Well that’s one part of the phrase,
We seem to forget the other part,
About how we were supposed to be raised,

See our unhealed traumas,
From childhood dramas,
Thats buried so deep inside,
We didn’t get to resolve them,
I guess its about time then,
Tell you my kid’s side,
Because i remember,

When I tried to explain myself,
Oh thats back-talk,
And when i hide and lie to you,
Oh now you’re shocked,
That I wouldn’t think of you as a safe space,
Cause when I was honest with you;
My feelings were thrown in my face
It’s not a good taste,
The salt from my tears and blood in my mouth,
It builds up in your chest,
Can’t help but sniffle or shout,
Oh You better stop all that noise,
Before I really give you something to cry about,

See, things are OK on the surface,
As long as you’re obedient and quiet
What a happy family in public,
But would they hug you in private?
Their emotional scars and wounds,
Would they feel a need to hide it?
From you and everyone?
So Terrified to be your daughter or your son,
Imagine having to keep your guard up,
Against your own guardian

You’re not one of my little friends,
As if that wasn’t apparent-ly,
You weren’t even that,
You weren’t even a-pparent to me
Oh , you thought I didn’t know?
When I didn’t see you at any of
My games or recitals , my highs or my lows
So many false yes’s and all no shows

Don’t abuse your authority,
To rule over the minority
Shouting out your dictation,
In one-sided conversations,
Then you’re wondering why I grew up shy,
Couldn’t express my feelings,
And let disrespect fly,
Or turn out so angry and rebellious,
So difficult to console,
Because we couldn’t speak our peace,
Suffocated by your control

Our emotions were dismissed,
Our Voices were silenced,
We grow up becoming the perpetrators and victims of domestic violence,
All because we were shown was such broken love
Validation? Regulation? Never heard of.

Can you understand how that feels?
To be so powerless,
Knowing there’s not much you can do?
Yeah, you do, because WE went through it too
And gone are the days,
Such a shame to remind you,
That respect goes both ways,
Thats an eternal truth

“Oh? respect MY child!?”
“I’m in charge and they’re beneath me”
Could have sworn they were a human being,
And not your property

I won’t chastise their bodies with bruises
From beatings.
I’ll nourish them with love,
I’ll hit their minds with reason,
And to understand

Empathy, Accountability
I’ll show them first hand
Apologizing to my kids
Doesn’t make me any less of a man

I refuse to be stagnant,
I refuse to just wait,
I refuse to pass down this generational hate,
Let’s make a new tradition,
One of love with respect
Let’s break this superstition
That it’s weak to self-reflect
And detect the defect-ive ways
We treat our loved ones.
Look I know it’s hard,
And You won’t always know what to do
But here’s a hint,
Think back to what you craved,
To what you starved for,
Yeah…. we were kids too